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It’s been far too long since I’ve posted to the website. For those of you that don’t know, I have moved out of Juneau, at least for now. My heart, soul and family will always be connected to Juneau, but the pervasive sadness would not leave me while there and I needed a chance to regroup and redefine who I am and a new direction for my life. I am currently living in a small condo at Big Lake, AK – my childhood home. I’m enjoying the incredible sunrises and sunsets each day and the views from my window. It is somewhat isolated in the winter, except for weekends. And except for XC I haven’t been able to ski. Since I also retired to make this happen, I’m adjusting to figuring out what it is I want to do with myself on a daily basis. Due to a severly broken finger limiting my functioning to one hand, settling in has been slow. Change is always a challenge and this is probably not the last one I’ll make.
B.J. and I plan to come back to Juneau to ski sometime over the winter and to continue work on and spend time at the memorial next spring/summer. We miss Brian and Brandon as much as ever; they are in almost every thought I have and every action I take. Ironically, I now live where I have float plane access on a lake in Alaska, part of their Alaska dream. Nikki will make it back to Juneau when she can and as her work allows it.
December and January are difficult months. Christmas, both Brian and Brandon’s birthdays, Clyde’s death, and the date Brian and Brandon were legally deceased all fall within a 3 week period. Time does not heal all wounds; it just changes our daily response to them. My hope is to be a reflection of appreciation – for life, the beauty around us and hope for the future. Brian and Brandon filled our lives with joy and I feel a responsibility to find and give joy in whatever way possible in their memory.
Thank you for keeping Brian and Brandon alive in your hearts as well.
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